


Beautiful Youth

by joshdunistherealest



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Coming of Age, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Underage Drinking, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshdunistherealest/pseuds/joshdunistherealest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gentle eyes and vast skies were how Joshua Dun learned to love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> "Apollo, the eternally beautiful youth, the perfection of all that is graceful and refined, rarely seems to have been happy in his love; either his advances met with a repulse, or his union with the object of his affection was attended with fatal consequences."

Throughout Josh's life, he always had one question.  
  
What exactly was love?  
  
That's what ended him up here, in a party, surrounded by people he couldn't give less of a shit about, watching stranger's tongues dive into even stranger mouths, lipsticks smeared all over them like bittersweet blood stains.  
  
This is a scene he's laid his eyes upon many times, but he finds himself staying every single time, sipping out of a red cup, it's red color burning more than his throat after his fifth shot.  
  
He didn't want to say this was his life, but ever since he turned seventeen last month, it was. Starving for a mess of affection and attention.   
  
Josh was pulled from his thoughts of reality when a stranger he'd never seen before was now standing beside him. A skinny frail boy who looked so gentle and soft you could break him with your words alone. He had a matching cup in his hands, and a silver bracelet around his wrist, engraved with some weird obscure lyric. From even a few feet away, Josh could tell he was checking him out, so he straightened his posture, messing with the cuffs of his flannel overshirt.  
  
"If you're here for a hookup, I'm not interested." Josh huffed, leaning back against the previously stark white wall, now covered with a mixture of spilled beer and either nail polish or paint.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," The stranger spoke, his voice sweet and high. "I just wanna know your story."  
  
Josh raised his eyebrows, giving a small laugh of disbelief.   
  
"Y'know, I wanna know how someone like you ended up, well, here." The boy batted his long eyelashes, turning fully toward Josh, his shoulder pressed against the wall. "I'm Tyler, Tyler Joseph."  
  
"I'm Josh, Josh Dun." Josh mocked, averting his eyes from the other male.  
  
"Well, Josh Dun, what's your story?" Tyler chirped, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek. "Unresolved daddy issues? Boredom?....Recent breakup?" He spoke a bit quieter at the last part, staring down into his drink like it was the most interesting piece of art he'd ever seen.  
  
"I don't have a story." Josh glanced down at Tyler's shoes. Black converse. Edgy.  
  
"Oh come on." Tyler nudged him with his elbow. "Everyone has a story."  
  
"Mine just isn't worth mentioning." Josh met eyes with Tyler, staring into brown eyes almost identical to his, only bigger, and filled with some sort of childlike glow that matched his honey glowed cheeks.  
  
"Mm. If you say so." Tyler tilts his head to the side. "I know you said you weren't here for hookups, which seems a little peculiar to me. I mean, you're attractive, young? Why aren't you out there with-" he points to the sweaty bodies in the crowd, dancing together with nauseating closeness. "With them?"  
  
"Because I'd rather not contract chlamydia today." Josh furrowed his eyebrows, bursting out in laughter with Tyler when the two boys made eye contact.  
  
After the laughter died down, Josh bit his lip, caught in a heated gaze with Tyler.  
  
Maybe it was the alcohol, or the lack of self-respect, but Tyler looked absolutely beautiful under the purple party lights. His pretty cherry lips curving beautifully, an accesory worth a million dollars against his sun-kissed skin.  
  
"Okay, I'll give it to you, you're funny. . . uh . . .I don't mean this to sound creepy or-" Tyler stuttered, pressing his right hand to Josh's chest, curling his fingers into his black T-shirt. "Do you wanna get out of here?"  
  
Josh didn't have time to think before he was nodding yes, and heading out into the hazy summer night hair with Tyler, hand in hand. He didn't know why, but he felt like the two sides of his world were finally drawing together.  


* * *

The night didn't turn out as expected, but Josh didn't want it any other way.   
  
The two boys stumbled out the front door of the party, ignoring the cat calls of other partygoers. Tyler collided into Josh's chest at the bottom stair, giggles spilling out of his lips. Josh cradled him against his chest before the two split apart.   
  
Tyler's floral kimono was hanging off his shoulder, black tank top strap exposing his freckled shoulders.  
  
"Where do you want to go?" Josh swiped his hand through his curly black hair.   
  
Tyler didn't miss a beat before he was grabbing Josh's hand again, turning to Josh to utter the words "Anywhere but here."  
  
They bolted off into the darkness, Josh tripping a few times, but it was worth it just to hear Tyler's adorable laugh again.  
  
The smaller boy halted his steps as they stumbled upon a locked private park. He turned to Josh, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Do you wanna do something illegal?" the bright look in Tyler's eyes added a somewhat comical effect to the request.  
  
"Uh-I mean-" Josh hesitated, his mind running a thousand different directions.  
  
"Come onnnn! Have some fun!" Tyler laughed, turning back around to face the secured fence. He gave an exasperated sigh. "Give me a boost."  
  
"What?" Josh took a big step back. "No way, Tyler, we could get arrested."  
  
"You're ridiculous." Tyler rolled his doe eyes, placing his tiny, thin hands on his shoulders. "Give me a boost!"  
  
Josh quivered, but gave up his common sense and hoisted Tyler up on the fence, watching the boy drop on the other side. Tyler stood, signalling for Josh to come with him.  
  
"If we get caught, I'm blaming you." Josh quickly scaled the fence, dropping beside Tyler and brushing himself off.   
  
"You'll find that you're gonna blame me for a lot of things." Tyler whispered, curling his hands with Josh's again as they took off inside the dimly lit park.  


* * *

Tyler was currently in a tree, one arm wrapped around the trunk as he anchored his feet on the thick branch.  
  
"I'm king of the world!" He yelled, sticking his free hand up in the air.  
  
"You're also drunk as hell!" Josh echoed back at him, sitting below the tree, his back against the trunk.  
  
"No I'm not!" Tyler lied. "Just a lil' tipsy." The boy's eyes widened, and suddenly he was falling, letting out a girlish squeal.  
  
Josh dived to save him from the hard ground, skinning his elbow in the process. Both boys tumbled onto the grass, snickering and facing each other, Tyler's eyes shut from how hard he was laughing, and Josh's eyes squinting as a reflex.  
  
"Ouch, that fuckin' hurt." Josh cradled his bleeding arm.  
  
He didn't have time to grieve his elbow before a flashlight was being shone in their faces, and a deep voice yelled out at them to vacate the premises.  
  
Tyler shrieked, akin to the previous squeal, and yanked Josh upward.  
  
Again, they were running, fueling the excitement in their naive brains.  


* * *

Somehow, they ended up at Josh's apartment.  
  
Tyler looked around the somewhat dingy apartment in awe, sorting through the records in his bedroom. "This place is actually kinda nice, props to you."  
  
"Eh, it's as much as a part time job at the record store can do." Josh retorted, laying back on his soft bed. It would've felt weird having a stranger in his room, but for some reason, Tyler felt familiar, like he'd known him for years.  
  
The boy finds something that catches his eye, and he quickly places it in the record player, a sweet, dimpled smile making an appearance on his features. "You listen to The Smiths too?"  
  
"Yeah, they're pretty sweet." Josh sits up, just in time to watch the taller teen study himself in the mirror, playfully swinging his kimono around. This innocent sight brought a smile to Josh's face. He speaks up after a while. "You're beautiful." It wasn't more than a whisper, but it still somehow caught Tyler's attention, making him turn to face Josh.  
  
"Thanks, I guess." Tyler messed with the floral fabric, glancing up at the other with eyes that sparkled more than the brightest galaxy. "You're the uh. . . first person to ever say that to me."  
  
"That's such bullshit, Joseph. I mean, how can anyone not think you're gorgeous." Josh continued to drunk ramble, before he felt the warmth of Tyler's arms tightly around his midsection, and hot breath against his neck.  
  
They sat there in silence, Tyler falling asleep in his drunken stupor to the sound of their young beating hearts, and Asleep by The Smiths blaring through the record player.  
  
Josh had never felt more alive than in that bed, with a strange boy curled around him, reaching his hand out to Tyler's cheek to wipe stray tears that must've fallen when he was awake.   
  
Still, he turned off his lights as usual, and tucked himself into bed, but this time with a warmth lying next to him that held the world in a pair of frail hands.  
  
  
  



	2. The Kissing Game

Josh awoke to an unusually cold bed, the thin sheets no longer holding Tyler, but instead just a whole caress of emptiness.   
  
He shut his eyes briefly, trying to figure out if yesterday was a dream or not, swallowing the lump in his throat in disbelief. Regardless, he pulled himself out of bed, only to find a small, pink sticky note on his nightstand.  
  
  
                                                                _I'm so sorry! I had to head out! Thank you for the best night of my life!_  
  
  
 _I think I'm gonna like you, Josh Dun.  
_  
  
 _xoxo, Tyler.  ❤_  
  
  
Upon further inspection, there was a number scrawled out at the bottom. Josh smiled, and ran his fingers along the edges of the paper.  
  
Tyler was real, he was alive, and so was he.  
  
After congratulating himself with a celebratory fist bump, he felt a sudden rush of nausea, and bolted to the bathroom. Hangovers were the worst.

* * *

  
Josh spent the rest of the morning throwing up and convincing his mother he had some sort of food poisoning when she came by. Thankfully, his stomach calmed down by noon. His mother still made him curl up on the couch like a little kid though. A cold cloth on his forehead, and a half bottle of Gatorade on the coffee table with crackers to calm his stomach.   
  
He imagined if Tyler felt this way, quickly swiping that thought out of his brain. Tyler was too pretty to be sick like this. Impossible.  
  
It was a stupid thought of course, every human could get sick.   
  
But in all honesty, he wasn't sure if something that beautiful could be human.  
  
Josh was steadily falling asleep to the sound of cartoons on the TV when he got a phone call, grimacing at the loud noise making his head throb. He slid his phone out of his pocket and held it up to his ear.  
  
"H'lo?" Josh spoke, his voice gravelly and weak.  
  
"Woah dude you sound like _shit!"_ His best friend, Brendon echoed from the other line. "Why'd you leave the party last night, dude? It was killer."  
  
"Thanks for the compliment." Josh sighed. "I just wasn't feeling that whole thing, so I left." Well, he wasn't _completely_ lying.   
  
"You can't fool me Dun! Everyone's saying you left with someone." Brendon questioned, and even through the phone he could feel his condescending expression.  
  
"Ugh." Josh huffed, tilting his phone slightly away from his face.  
  
"Oh shit! You did, didn't you! Tell me, tell me, tell me. I want all the dirty details." Brendon cooed at Josh. "My little boy is all grown up. Y'know I would've expected that from Pete, or hell, even me, but seriously!" Brendon continued to ramble, rustling and crashing heard in the background. Probably everyone just now leaving from the party. "So humor me, how was she?"  
  
"What?" Josh furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
"Y'know, how was she, dude? Did you use protection? Don't worry, if she's Christian, god will protect you-"  
  
"No! Dude. It, uh." Josh hesitated, his voice dropping low and quiet. "I met a boy."  
  
". . . Oh my god. No shit!" Brendon practically squealed. By now, Josh was convinced that 'shit' was Brendon's favorite word. "What's his name?"  
  
"His name is Tyler-" Josh was cut off by a gasp on the other line.  
  
"Tyler? You mean Tyler Joseph, Tyler? Oh no, honey, you do not wanna do that." Brendon scoffed.  
  
"Wait, why not?" Josh whined, keeping the phone nudged between his ear and shoulder, dropping his hands to his lap to fidget with his fingers.  
  
"Tyler is. . .Tyler. I don't know how else to describe it. The boy gets around, and when I say around, I mean _around._ " He can almost hear the gears in Brendon's head turning before he speaks again. "Not in a sexual sense either, he breaks a lot of hearts, Josh. That boy will make you fall in love with him, and then let you continue to fall to the ground. He's not good for you."  
  
"Brendon. That's such bullshit, okay? He's- He's not like that. He's a good person. Plus he's got these eyes that just-" Josh batted his eyelashes, sinking back against the couch arm, trying to remember Tyler's eyes. "Captivate me. I don't care if he hurts me. I'd worry more about hurting him."  
  
The other male paused, before talking again. "Well, if you're so sure of it, then fine. But don't come crying to me when that boy crashes you down." With that last word, Brendon hung up, leaving Josh to listen to a flat dial tone.  
  
 _Fuck._  
  
 _Fuckfuckfuck.  
_  
 _What had he gotten himself into?_  
  


* * *

Josh decides to call Tyler later that night, bored alone in his bed as the clock strikes nine o'clock. It took a lot of convincing his brain to even get to this point, but he dials the number anyway.  
  
Only to not receive a response.   
  
He lays back on the slightly crooked bed in defeat, shutting his eyes and breathing in the scent of Tyler still lingering in his bed sheets. He found himself slowly drifting off to sleep, only to be jolted awake by the sound of his window cracking open, and a thin hand reaching to pull it up.   
  
Josh reflexively grabs his soccer trophy from when he was in fourth grade, as if that would protect him against an armed attacker, scurrying up against the wall as the stranger crept in his room, dressed in a black hoodie and matching black jeans, the hood up to disguise the person's face. Something seemed off though.   
  
The claimed attacker wore pastel pink converse, and as they pulled down their hood, he realized just who it was.   
  
"Hey Josh." Tyler plopped down in Josh's desk chair, quickly untying his shoes and setting them by said desk.   
  
Josh eased up, laughing in disbelief, setting his trophy back down on his nightstand. "Dude! You can't just do that!" Josh scolded the angel-faced teen, watching his shocked expression.  
  
"What did I do?" Tyler fluffed his hair in Josh's mirror just like the previous night, walking over to Josh's bed and sitting beside him.  
  
"You don't even think before you crawl into random people's windows at 9 PM?" Josh couldn't help but smile, the whole situation was just really strange.  
  
"You're not random people, you're Josh." Tyler crawled under the covers with Josh, wrapping his arms tightly around the shorter male.   
  
"Woah, hold on I-" Josh couldn't speak before Tyler pressed a finger to his lips, looking at him with those mocha brown eyes.   
  
"Just hold me, okay?" Tyler's voice went even softer, and Josh honest-to-god melted right then and there, curling his arms around Tyler's midsection. He watched as Tyler was absolutely mesmerized by simply running his fingers across Josh's cheeks, looking like he was in deep thought.  
  
Josh didn't dare ask what he was thinking about, tracing circles in the skinny boy's back with his fingers.   
  
Before they knew it, they were both leaning closer and closer, their lips meeting in the middle. Something about Tyler's mouth felt so familiar to Josh, easily mapping it out with careful movements, and a hand in Tyler's suspiciously soft hair.   
  
They spent about ten minutes like that, drinking each other in like a forbidden antidote, heavy kisses dragging into gentle ones, and occasional stops to breathe, gazing into each other's eyes.  
  
The kisses themselves were nothing but innocent, just fueled by each boy's need to explore further. They made maps of bones jutting out behind youthful skin, even scars that Tyler seemed hesitant to speak about.   
  
Josh didn't think before he spoke, just letting the first thought spill out once they were separated. "You feel like home."  
  
And Tyler did. He felt like sugar in bitter coffee, warm blankets and socks in winter, and the dimples in his cheeks reminded him of unexplored passages.   
  
Tyler suddenly pressed chest to chest with Josh, caressing the side of his cheek as he kissed him again, fisting his hands in the shorter boy's hair, long legs intertwined with his, letting out little pleased whimpers into the kiss, absolutely loving every soft touch and feeling Josh gave him.  
  
The feeling in question? He felt needed, wanted, even. He felt like all of his broken clasps were being bound together by strings held in Josh's warm, calloused hands.  
  
Before he knew it, he felt tears falling again, and he broke apart from Josh. letting out a little broken sob, he allowed apologies to flow from his lips.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm a mess." Tyler laughed nervously, wiping his own tears as he sat up, only to be pulled back down by Josh, back against his chest.  
  
Josh wrapped his arms around him securely, kissing the back of Tyler's neck, watching as heavier sobs caused his chest to heave. "I'm going to h-hurt you Josh, you know what they say about me." Tyler stuttered, breathing heavier.  
  
"I couldn't give less of a fuck what they say about you. I see something in you, Tyler." Josh cradled the boy like he was the most fragile jewel. "It's okay. I promise."  
  
  
Again, Josh lie awake for a while as Tyler slept, curling himself around him, his body fitting so perfectly with Tyler's, their missing pieces completed with the breath of the other.  
  
In all Josh's life, he'd never felt a storm this strong, or a wind so prominent in his life.  
  
He'd known this boy for two days, but something inside him urged him to press into all of Tyler's wounded edges, to tell him that everything was going to be alright.  
  
In the dingy, dark light of his bedroom, Josh got the slightest reminder of what love was.  
  
Love was fresh air to his dry lungs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Photographs

"So, what's your plan for the rest of this year?" Tyler asked, repainting a violet coat of nail polish on Josh's left hand, humming thoughtfully. "I mean, technically speaking this is the year that we should be totally in tune with what we want to do when we graduate and all that other jazz that I couldn't give less of a shit about."  
  
Since the night Tyler snuck in through Josh's window, he'd been coming over every single night to talk to the older boy. This time though, he refrained from scaring the shit out of him in a disguise.   
  
"Mm, I don't know really. I guess I want to pursue music, but like, I'm not really feelin' the whole college vibe. You get me?" Josh smirked, looking down at the fluffy haired boy sticking his tongue out in deep concentration. "Purple, huh?"  
  
Tyler flushed, giggling nervously. "Yeah, 's my favorite color. I can uhm- change it if you want."  
  
"Nah, I like it, it really screams closeted homo." Josh snickers, leaning to rest his forehead against Tyler's. "But I would like you to change the record for me."  
  
"Bossy, bossy." Tyler caps the nail polish, scooting off the bed and onto his feet to go put a different record in the player. Quickly, he takes a look at his phone, deliberately hiding the screen from Josh, but it goes unnoticed.  
  
He pops a random record in the player, not really minding what it is, he just trusts Josh's taste of music. He ever-so-graciously plops back against the bed, landing his head in Josh's lap. From this angle, he had a clear view of the little polaroid pictures littering Josh's baby blue walls.   
  
Tyler cautiously runs his hands across the white edges, squinting his eyes to see the pictures. One in particular was a picture of Josh and a random girl, his hands around her waist and lips pressed to her cheek. "What's this?" Tyler juts out his bottom lip, feeling a little twinge of jealousy.  
  
Josh glances up to where Tyler's fingers pointed, eyes finally spotting the picture in question. "Oh, that? That's me and my ex-girlfriend." Josh sighed, scratching the back of his neck, thankful that by now the polish had dried. "Yeahhh, didn't work out very well."  
  
Tyler bit his tongue, sitting up and scooting so his back was pressed against Josh's chest. Upon further inspection, the photo simply said 'New Years w/ Debby'  
  
"So, if you don't mind me asking, what happened?" Tyler relaxed further into the other boy's chest when he felt a hand in his hair, melting into the touch with a noise of appreciation.   
  
"We fought a lot, and I mean, a LOT." Josh sounded almost exasperated, but the laugh afterwards was music to Tyler's ears. "Eventually she moved, and we broke it off not long after that."  
  
Tyler clicked his tongue, sadly having to shove farther from Josh to see the other pictures. Another one sparked his interest; a picture of Josh with braces and even curlier hair. "Josh!" Tyler squealed, frantically pointing at the picture. "Y'look so cute!"   
  
Josh glanced back, before hiding his face with a frustrated groan. "Stoooop. Don't even try to sugarcoat that picture, alright? It's terrible."  
  
"Noooo! you're adorable, so cutesocutesocute!" Tyler giggled burying his own face in Josh's neck.  
  
Josh could feel his wide smile against his skin and he huffed, defeated. "I hate it."  
  
"I don't. In fact-" Tyler crawled over Josh, making the shorter boy have to lay back on the bed with Tyler on his chest. He gently pulled the picture off the wall, sticking the little piece of tape onto Josh's nightstand. "I'm gonna keep it."  
  
"You know, there's much less shameful stuff to jerk off to than a middle school yearbook photo." Josh joked, his hands on Tyler's hips stroking and rubbing.   
  
Tyler glared at him playfully, taking one of his pillows and hitting him square in the face with it. "I'm not gonna do that, you sicko!"   
  
Josh chuckled, putting an arm up to defend himself from the blows to the face he was getting. "Hey-! to be truthful, I don't know why else anyone would want that picture- OW!" Josh grimaced as the pillow hit him hard in the temple.  
  
"I want it because I like having photos of things I care about, Josh." Tyler grumbles, rolling off Josh to lay beside him, letting the pillow drop out of his hands.   
  
Josh's eyes widened a little at the confession, putting an arm over his face to hide an obvious blush. "You _sap."_  
  
"The best." Tyler chimed, tracing little circle patterns into Josh's arms. 

* * *

Later that night, while Tyler is snuggled up in Josh's side, blanket draped across his freckled shoulders, Tyler gets a text.  
  
Normally, Josh would respect the privacy of other's personal texts, but he rationalized it in his own mind by telling himself he'd be doing Tyler a favor. I mean, what if it was an emergency and he wouldn't find out about it until morning?  
  
Josh easily gave in, leaning over Tyler to peek at his phone on the nightstand.  
  
Two new texts from. . .   
  
  
  
                                                                                                                     ❤Cade❤  
  
  
                                                                                                  Hey babe, I stopped by ur house and u weren't there.  
                                                       
                                                                                                  U aren't ignoring me, r u??????? I love you.  
  
  
  
Josh practically felt his heart sink to his stomach, and jealousy bubble up into his throat like fire. It wasn't like him and Tyler were official, so he should've expected something like this to be the reason. Still, he felt tears pricking at the edges of his eyes, and he rolls over, facing away from Tyler, and away from the light of the phone.  
  
He squeezes his eyes shut tightly, hoping to god that this was all a dream.  
  
Maybe Brendon was right.  
  
Maybe Tyler would hurt him.


	4. Sunrise By Any Other Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of violence between Tyler and the 'Cade' character in this one, mentions of abuse within a relationship and stuff, so if you're very sensitive to this, please do not read this chapter!

"Shut up! Okay? Shut your mouth, you little- you little whore!" Tyler winced at his boyfriend's words, backed up against the wall. He shivered, desperately trying to reach for the hands that were around his neck before he was knocked to the floor.

"Get out!" Cade kicked Tyler in the hip, yanking the weak boy up by his shoulder and tossing him out onto the porch.

Tyler attempted to keep his consciousness, having taken so many blows to the head, he was in shock. He tried to register his surroundings, but his vision was just so blurry with the migraine pounding in his skull.

He allowed tears to drip down his cheeks, the echo of the door slamming behind his back replaying in his brain.  
  


_You're so worthless._

_Why did I ever trust you._

_-You little whore!_

Tyler bit his lip to hold back the sobs, but they just kept coming, over and over, wracking through his body like waves.

  
_I hate you! I always hated you!_

_After all I've done for you!_   
  


* * *

"Hey Josh." Tyler plopped down in Josh's desk chair, swiveling around with his knees to his chest.

Josh jumped slightly, dropping the book he was reading and cursing as he lost his place, eyes shut in slight aggravation. "Christ, Tyler. You scared me." his face softened a little, and he moved over, making a space for Tyler on the bed. He gently lifted the covers as an invitation.

Tyler greedily accepted the invitation, climbing into the bed and sighing as he felt the warmth and smell of Josh envelop him.

Josh toyed with Tyler's hair, humming in deep thought. "Bad day?"

Tyler didn't respond, he just buried his face deeper in the crook of Josh's neck, huffing.

"I'll take that as a solid. . .yes?" Josh raised an eyebrow, softly moving Tyler off of him to make eye contact with the other boy. "What happened?"

Tyler let out a soft hiss through his teeth at the contact to his bruised shoulder, visibly wincing. "I don't want to talk about it."

Josh was oblivious, just shrugging a soft 'okay' and leaning in to kiss Tyler, pulling back after he felt something rub off on his fingers after cupping his cheek. "Are you wearing foundation? Tyler, dude, you do realize your skin is already clear, right?"

Tyler cringed, breathing out through his nose. "Uhm. It was for some-. . . thing. Don't worry about it." Tyler leaned back in to kiss him, only to be stopped.

"You're acting weird." Josh bit his lip, tilting his head to the side. "Is there something going on, Tyguy? If it's your skin you're worried about, you really don't need it. See? here-" Josh ran his finger across Tyler's under eye.  
  
"Josh-ow! Wait, no don't!" Tyler scrambled to grab Josh's wrist, but it was too late, Josh had already seen the purple, swollen bruise under his eye.  
  
Josh's tender expression turned to one of anger, and Tyler flinched, cowering under the blanket slightly, his eyes shut tightly.   
  
"Please don't get mad at me." Tyler sobbed, curling his fingers into Josh's T-shirt, tears making tracks in the remainder of the makeup.   
  
"Tyler, why would I be mad at you?" Josh sat up fully, gasping and pulling his fingers back when Tyler yelped in pain. He cursed under his breath, gritting his teeth. "Who did this to you?"

Tyler quickly shook his head, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. "I can't. I can't tell you."  
  
"And why the fuck not, Ty? You could be in serious danger here!" Josh maneuvered around the bed so he could examine further under Tyler's sweater, tears brimming his small dark brown eyes when they landed on the deep maroon colored bruises littering his tan belly.   
  
Tyler hesitated, voice dropping to an almost silent whisper.  
  
Josh caught on, reading his lips as the word "boyfriend" dropped from them. His heart sank. "How long has he been doing this?"  
  
Tyler only raised his volume slightly, crackling a little as he speaks again. "Four years. "  
  
"Shit." Josh rubbed the back of his own neck. "Shit, shit, shit."   
  
"Please don't be mad at me-" Tyler rambled, trying to sit up. "I'm sorry you ever met me, that, fuck, I let you kiss me."   
  
"Tyler." Josh deadpanned, running soft, gentle touches over the sore skin.   
  
"God, you probably don't even want me around anymore." Tyler continued, running a hand through his fluffy light-brown hair.  
  
"Tyler." Josh spoke slightly louder.  
  
"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this." The taller boy groaned, throwing an arm over his face.  
  
"Tyler!"  
  
Tyler jumped slightly, looking into Josh's eyes with wide, mocha brown ones of his own, searching his face for an answer.  
  
"You didn't drag me into anything. I'm the one who pried in the first place, all you need to tell me is where the asshole lives so I can make sure he never hurts anyone again." Josh paused. "Especially you. Now come on, let's go get you into a bath."   
  
Tyler's eyes widened further, if possible. "You . . . really do care about me, don't you."  
  
Josh looked down at him with a smile, leaning down to press his lips to the side of his neck. "Do you really think I'd leave my window unlocked every single night because I didn't? There's fuckin' murderers in this town that would flip their shit at the chance to hop right in a broken window."  
  
Tyler giggled, kissing words right out of his mouth, arms wrapped tightly around Josh's neck. All of the sudden, Josh hoisted him up to curl his legs around his waist, making the younger boy shriek in surprise.  
  
"Dude!" Tyler hung on tightly. "You do know I'm significantly taller than you, right?"  
  
"Only by a half inch. Now do you want your bath, or not? 'Cause I'm gonna carry you there." Josh smirked up at the boy in his arms, careful to not bump his bruises.  
  
"Fine." Tyler huffed, laying down against Josh's chest to pout.   
  


* * *

Tyler ends up coaxing Josh into the bath with him. Josh was surprised that Tyler wasn't as insecure of his body as he was, but he did have a lot more to be insecure of in his mind.   
  
But for some reason, as he got into the strawberry scented bubble bath, he felt insecurity melt away. Tyler's eyes were watching him like he was the most precious thing in the world, fingers tracing patterns into his slightly muscular shoulders.   
  
Tyler lay back after a while, swallowing, and making his adam's apple bob under the tan skin of his throat. "This feels. . .really nice."  
  
Josh turned a bright shade of red, cursing as he felt his cheeks heat up. "Y-Yeah, it's nice." He let out a deep breath, his cheeks puffing out with the big exhale.   
  
After a while of comfortable silence, Josh found him admiring the curvature of Tyler's body and neck. He was just so. . .gentle. Something about him felt like vanilla in coffee or the ground after two inches of fresh snowfall.   
  
Josh was so out of it from just staring at him that he barely realized thirty minutes had passed, Tyler already washed. He must've washed him too, judging by the feeling of his skin now, the gross sweaty feeling he'd had earlier replaced with a warm, soapy clean feeling.   
  
"Josh." Tyler's soft voice resonated through the bathroom, pulling Josh back into reality.  
  
"Huh, what?" Josh raised an eyebrow, dazed.  
  
Tyler broke out in a huge grin, laughing and making his petite shoulders shake. "You're ridiculous. I said I wanted to get out, we're getting pruned so bad we look like old women ankles."   
  
Josh cringed at the mental image, nodding quickly, getting a small head rush as he stood to his feet in the bath. He took his time, grabbing two fresh towels, wrapping the fluffy white one around Tyler and a blue one around his own waist.  
  
They both made their way back to the bedroom, pulling some clothes out of Josh's dresser.  
  
Tyler looked like he was in deep thought for a moment, tapping his finger against his lips. "Do you wanna go explore with me?"  
  
Josh scoffed in disbelief. "Tonight? Tyler, it's 3 AM."  
  
"I don't see your point here." Tyler rolled his eyes, pulling out an outfit from Josh's dresser and tossing one at him. "Where's your sense of adventure?"  
  
Josh ran his hands through his hair before he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I'll go. Just, don't get us in trouble, a'ight?"  
  
"I can't make any promises." Tyler bat his eyelashes, pulling on the baggy black T-shirt.   
  


* * *

  
The two boys drew in a breath as they stepped into the cold night air, Tyler's hand clasped gently in Josh's.    
  
"So, remind me where we're going right now?" Josh asked, his tone unsure.   
  
"Downtown." Tyler said, beginning to pull Josh in that direction.   
  
"Uh, not to burst your bubble, Ty, but downtown Columbus is not the best area to be walking at this time of night."  
  
"So? I see you've missed the point. We're not walking, we're running. . . and anyways. . .I just gotta run faster than you!" Tyler yelled, running off as Josh bolted behind him, trying to catch him.  
  
The cool night air was filled with sweet laughter and the hum of cars zooming past them, not even batting an eye at the two bright eyed boys taking off into darkness.

* * *

"I swear to god, you're insane." Josh scoffed, laying back against the itchy grass below a tree, Tyler smiling his million dollar smile right beside him, covering his face to quiet his own laughter.   
  
"Nono! What I'm getting at is, I can totally beat you in hand-to-hand combat." Tyler rests his chin on Josh's shoulder the best he could while laying down, speaking through giggles.  
  
"I'd obviously win." Josh joked, pouting at Tyler before glancing right back up to the sky. It was just starting to dust with the oranges and yellows of the morning sunrise. Josh quickly gave a little wave to the sky.   
  
Tyler looked confused, his nose scrunching up. "What are you doing, Jish."  
  
Josh sighed, laying his arm back on the ground. "Saying goodbye to the stars. They're going to sleep. "   
  
Tyler didn't lose that confused expression, but he just listened closer, curling into Josh's side.   
  
"You know, there's these small little stars just up there to do their job and light up the dark skies for us, and they never get thanked, y'know? they look small, but they're in reality really really big, like the part they play in our lives. . . I think they're beautiful. "Josh glanced over at Tyler with the last sentence, continuing to ramble on. "They start off being this small. . . minuscule part in your life . . . and. . . you never know how big they're going to become. Eventually, they're your everything and you're lookin' up at the heavens like, why me." Josh gazes deep into Tyler's eyes.  
  
"Then, you realize that you don't want them to go away. You never want them to be without you for even a moment, because at some point stars fizzle out and it's like they were never there in the first place. You spend all your life forgetting, until one day a star comes along and makes you not want to forget."  Josh fades into silence again, looking back up to the sky.   
  
The stars were gone, the sun finally showing itself and turning the sky baby blue.   
  
"We'd better go, huh?" Tyler asks, sitting up and stretching.   
  
"Yeah, yeah. . .we'd better." Josh responds, sighing deeply.


	5. Won't You Torture Someone Else's Sleep?

_Gasoline._  
  
_Josh smelled gasoline._  
  
_He barely registered the blurry image of a home burning to ash before he fell to the ground, smoke filling his lungs.  
  
__A voice called out to him, one seeming familiar, though he couldn't quite place a name to the it.  
  
"I'm home now." The same voice rang in his ears again, louder than the approaching sirens and the pain in his chest. "I'm home, Joshua."  
  
  
"JOSH!"   
  
  
  
_ "Josh, honey, you gotta wake up."   
  
Josh wiped the sleep out of his eyes, letting out a weak yawn as his mother gently shook his shoulder. "Mom?"  
  
"Your friend just left, said something about taking care of things. I brought over some groceries for you." Josh's mother grinned down at the boy, carding her fingers through his hair. "Did you have another nightmare?"  
  
Josh hesitantly nodded, burying deeper into his sheets. They smelled of Old Spice and sugar cookies. _Tyler_ , he thought.  
  
"You know, you could always move back home, me and your father we miss you-"  
  
"Please. You know how much I don't want to do that, just. . .give it a rest, okay?" Josh turned over, moving away from her nurturing hands.   
  
His mother sighed, placing her hands back in her lap, where she was kneeling beside his bed.  "Can you at least come home for today? Ashley and Jordan have been asking about you."  
  
With a few moments of silence, Josh nodded his head, reluctantly pulling his body upwards. The small stretch felt like he was made of elastic, his head pounding.  


* * *

Josh stepped through the threshold of his childhood home, slowly sliding off his jacket as he glanced around. A feeling of nostalgia crossed his senses, eyes darting off the dark wood floor and the white silk curtains. "Looks nice, Ma. Where is everyone?"  
  
 "Your dad is at work, and your sisters are upstairs. Jordan is with his friends, but he'll be back at two. Feel free to eat or drink anything you want!" Mrs. Dun hummed, shoving a cup of warm, but not too hot, coffee in his hands.  
  
Josh stumbled back a bit, wrapping his fingers around the handle of the cup. "Thanks. . .Feels weird to be home."   
  
"It's lovely to have you home. I just. . .wish you'd come back, for real this time." His mother pats his shoulder, leaving the room to tend to her own day.  
  
Josh scuffed his foot on the ground, setting his coffee down on the counter to pull off his boots. He quickly treads up the stairs, footsteps echoing down the hall.  
  
His sisters poked their heads out of one of the rooms, giving a little wave to him and ducking back in. _Wow, mom, they seem really interested in having me here._  
  
Josh's attention was soon turned to his own bedroom, a small alien sticker adorning the otherwise white door. He turned the gold handle, taking a deep breath before opening the door.   
  
His eyes instantly fell on the drum set in the corner, and he hobbled over to it, running his fingers across the cymbals.   
  
  
  
_"You're not doing it right!" A young Josh's voice called from behind the drum kit, pulling the sticks out from an equally young boy's hands._  
  
_"That's because I can't!" The other boy whined, biting his lip and giving a small little huff._  
  
_"You're ridiculous." Josh scoffed, sitting beside the other boy on the stool. "You just gotta try. Like- Like this." Josh wrapped his arms around his waist, cupping his hands in his own as he tapped out a pattern on the drums._  
  
_A smile lit up on the boy's face, copying Josh with the most sugar sweet giggle. Before Josh knew it, the slightly taller boy was jumping into Josh's arms once the pattern was finished. "I did it! I did it I did it I did it!"  
_  
_The two tumbled to the floor, lanky limbs tangled in a bear hug.  
  
_  
  
Josh smiled at the memory, recalling it like it was the day before. He had played with that boy all the time as a young kid. Since he only lived down the street, he made a habit of inviting him over to his house every single day, and on weekends, having slumber parties filled with so many sweets that they got a belly ache.  
  
  
He plopped down on the small mattress, still covered in his Star Wars sheets, and still holding a red stuffed bear. Josh curled up, pulling the bear to his chest and picking fuzz out of it's fur. Glancing up at the ceiling, he admired the plastic green glow stars adhered to the plaster.  
  
  
  
_"I loooove stars, don't you."_  
  
_Josh knew this memory too well, not really recalling as to why, all he knew was that same boy was cuddled close with him, trying his hardest not to fall asleep._  
  
_"Well, yeah, of course!" Josh responded, propping his head up on his arm, staring into the fluffy haired boy's big wide eyes. Something about those eyes. . . "Why else would I have them up there. I wanna see em' every night, and I can't really make a see-through cieling, can I?"_  
  
_"Yeah you can." The taller boy said, sounding confident and sure of himself. " 'scalled glass, silly butt!"_  
  
_Josh narrowed his eyes. "Glass breaks, stupid."_  
  
_The boy looked hurt. ". . .Well! Just make the glass unbreakable! make it magic and stuff! That'd be awesome!"_  
  
_Josh's mother's tired voice yelled from the other room, making both boy's jump. "Go to bed, kids!"_  
  
_Josh flinched, yelling back. "Okay, mama!" They settled farther into the Star Wars sheets, asleep in mere minutes._  
  
  
  
Josh wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. Why was he crying?  
  
He felt his chest heave with soft sobs, not being able to stop them.  
  
  
  
_Sirens, smoke, and gasoline.  
  
Josh smelled gasoline. _  
  
_He remembers the terrified look on his mother's face as they watched his best friend's house go up in huge flames. Josh recalls crying out for him, sobbing into the fabric of his mom's night dress, clutching the red teddy bear to his chest._  
  
_Ash flew up into the night sky, making the otherwise black sky grey._  
  
_Josh didn't hear from the other boy after that. No more slumber parties, no more games, no more phone calls after school, or hell, even seeing him at school._  
  
_Just the sound of his mother crying every night, an unsettling emptiness in his bed, paired with nightmares of bright red. angry flames._  
  
  
  
Josh felt nausea bubble up in his throat, running to the bathroom to get sick into the toilet, running his hands through his hair with sobs still rolling through his body. He hears his sisters yell, but his ears were ringing. Josh's mother frantically dabs at his forehead with a wet, cold towel.  
  
He wraps his arms around his mother, crying into her shoulder. "Why'd he have to go mom? Why did he-" Another sob. "I want him back."  
  
Mrs. Dun looked confused, but she comforted him anyway, eyes widening as she recalled exactly what he was talking about. "I know baby. I know you do. I miss him too."


	6. Who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's really short but it's a filler for the next one!!

Ever since that night at his parent's house, Josh had been having the same strange dream of the same strange boy. He was confused to say the least, because even though he could make out the boy's voice completely and some features of his face, he couldn't place a name.   
  
Frustrated and lonely, he called Tyler, speaking quickly and softly into the phone once he heard him answer. "I need help."  
  
"Wait what? Josh, it's like 2 AM. " Tyler grumbled, tossing and turning in his bed to find a comfortable position to hold his phone.   
  
"I've been having really bad dreams. They're confusing and they make me want to tear my hair out." Josh rambled, leaning his head back on his wall with a thump even Tyler heard. "And I know they're just dreams but they're memories too. Memories of-fuck, of someone. A boy, I guess."  
  
Tyler's side of the line went dead silent before he spoke up again. "Do you know who it is?"  
  
"No, but all I know is that he's really important to me. O-or at least he was, before. . ." Josh matched Tyler's previous silence, trying to fight off tears at the thought.  
  
"Before what, Josh?" Tyler asked, his tone slightly concerned.  
  
"Before the fire." Josh blurted, fisting his hands in his hair. "He's dead."  
  
". . .Josh." Tyler looked to the ceiling, fiddling with his hands as he lie in bed. "I'm sorry dude."  
  
"Him and I were seven, Tyler. Seven. Can you even think of a seven year old surviving a gas fire? The smoke probably flooded his tiny lungs and-Fuck, I gotta go." Josh sobbed weakly, tears rolling down his face.  
  
"Josh no wait-" Tyler didn't speak up fast enough, met with a dial tone.  
  
Tyler curled up on his bed, groaning into his pillow in frustration.   


* * *

Josh searched through immense amounts of news articles the next morning. _Boy in house fire, boy dies in house fire, boy,7, dies in house fire in Columbus, Ohio._ None of these showed up any results. He gave up for a while, deciding to call Tyler back.   
  
The phone rang for a minute, Tyler responding with his soft, pretty voice, making Josh light up in a smile. "Hey JJ."  
  
"Hi." Josh chirped, grimacing down at his laptop.   
  
"So, any news on mystery boy yet?" Tyler hums, setting a coffee cup down on his kitchen counter.  
  
"Mm-mm. None. Zero. Like, I could search up alien porn and get more results than this." Josh lays his head back on the couch arm, immediately darting to sit up once he realized what he said. "Not that I search that up."  
  
Tyler giggled, music to Josh's ears, before playfully teasing him. "Ooh, I'm suuuure. Next thing you'll be telling me is that you want me to speak Klingon to you while we make out."   
  
"Uhm, that wouldn't be possible." Josh scoffed. "I have you know that Klingon requires a LOT of tongue power and I don't think that would work out with your tongue down my throat." Josh is winded by the end of that sentence, blushing horribly.  
  
"Talk Klingon to me, space boy." Tyler cracks up again, covering his face with his sleeve.  
  
Josh grumbles. "Come on! Be serious. I'm still really bummed." he pauses, breathing out his nose. "I think he's alive."  
  
Tyler swallows a thick lump in his throat. "Maybe."  
  
"I'm gonna find him." Josh stutters out. "I need to see him, Ty, I need closure."  
  
"Don't." Tyler rushes out without thinking. "I-I mean, things might not be what you're bargaining for, Josh. Maybe this guy won't even remember you, or it'll hurt even worse when you find out he's really dead."  
  
"I can't be worrying anymore, Tyler."   
  
"Which is exactly why I'm telling you now, Josh. Leave. It. Alone."  
  
Josh sounded hurt when he spoke up again. "I'll talk to you later, Tyler."  
  
"Yeah, see you." Tyler is the one to hang up this time, his chest tightening with guilt and worry.  
  



	7. Drown The Farthest Down.

The two boys were casually lounging around in Josh's living room when Josh finally dropped the big "L" word.  
  
"I love you." Josh whispered, carding his hands through Tyler's hair from where he was laying in his lap.  
  
Tyler perked up, face flushed a bright shade of red. "No." Tyler stuttered, gripping the other boy's hand in his. "No, nonono, you do not want to say that Josh. _Please."  
  
_ Josh looked hurt, moving back slightly. "Do you not love me back?" His eyebrows furrowed, and he huffed.  
  
"No- Baby, no, it's not that I just- I can't." Tyler looked like he was on the verge of tears, wringing his hands together as he tried to form clear sentences. It wasn't that Tyler didn't love him back. Hell, the boy could write a million songs about how absolutely infatuated he was with Josh and never be bored. Josh was, currently, the most important person alive in his life right now.  
  
"And why not?" Josh raised his voice slightly moving closer to Tyler and making the petite boy flinch. Josh instantly softened his expression and settled on gently stroking Tyler's side, feeling his chest expand and collapse with each breath.  
  
After a long pause, Tyler spoke again, nervously scratching at the hole in the knee of his jeans. "I love you Josh, more than you could ever know but. . . you love the thought of me. You love this messed up wreck of a person that you think I am. You don't love me, Josh,"  
  
Another pause.  
  
"If you knew the person I really was, you wouldn't love me, you would pack up your bags and get the hell out of here as fast as you can. I'm a bad memory, J. Just a bad dream." Tyler watched as his own eyes blurred with tears, turning over to face away from Josh.   
  
"Tyler." Josh pressed a kiss to the boy's bare shoulder, winding his hands under the same soft floral kimono that he wore when they first met. "I'll love you for as long as I can breathe."  
  
"Stop." Tyler stood, shaky breaths coming out quick now. "Please, stop."  
  
Josh refrained from putting another finger on him, but stood up beside him, inches away with a distraught look on his face like he'd just lost his whole family.  
  
"Listen to me now, Josh Dun, I am the worst person you'll ever choose to love." Tyler choked out, gripping onto the black messenger bag slung around his left shoulder.  
  
"I believe that's the single biggest lie you've ever told me. "  
  
"I wouldn't count on that." Tyler blurted, twisting the strap of the bag in his skinny, frail hands.  
  
". . . What?" Josh looked even more confused, if possible, and glanced Tyler up and down. "What do you mean?"  
  
Tyler stayed silent, broken sobs wracking through his chest. "Please."  
  
_"What do you mean, Tyler?"_ Josh's voice raised yet again, but this time, he didn't back down, anger bubbling up in his throat and replacing the feeling of sadness.  
  
"Please!" Tyler shouted back at him, crying harder and backing up against the wall.  
  
"Tell me what you've been hiding from me!" Josh pinned his arms over his head, making Tyler panic even more.  
  
"I'M HIM, JOSH!" Tyler cried out "I'm the boy, Josh, I'm alive, please. " Tyler faded almost to a whisper, his voice completely ruined, dropping to the ground as Josh released his arms.   
  
"Oh god." Josh gripped his own hair, beginning to hyperventilate. "Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, no, this isn't happening."   
  
Tyler didn't respond, just curling up in the fetal position below Josh, heaving and huffing to calm down.   
  
"NO, FUCK." Josh slammed his fist against the wall above Tyler, wincing at the throbbing pain.  
  
The boy he'd spent weeks looking for had been right in front of him the whole time, right against his lips, and sleeping his arms at night. The boy who he presumed dead was now curled up on his floor, inconsolable, because of him. _**Wake up, Josh. Wake up, Josh.**  
_  
****_Wakeupjoshwakeupjoshwakeupjoshwakeupjoshwakethefuckupmakeitgoaway.  
  
You're dreaming, this isn't real, he's supposed to be dead. He's supposed to be dead.  
  
DEAD.  
  
DEADDEADDEADDEADEADDEAD-  
  
  
_ Josh pounds the side of his head, trying to get himself to wake up, to feel anything besides the numb sting as he was put into shock. The voice in the background was muffled, but he heard someone say his name. It all faded to black after that, pain seeming to fluctuate from being unbearable, to barely there.  
  
_He's not alive, Josh._

* * *

 _Patient: Joshua Dun_  
Admitted for fainting and mild concussion.  
Condition: Stable.  
  
  
Josh woke to blindingly bright light filtering through a hospital window. He cringed at first, but relaxed when the shades were drawn by someone in the room. Once his eyes adjusted, he recognized that person as his mother, walking back to his bedside and stroking his cheek.  
  
"You're awake, sleepyhead." She hummed, pressing a kiss to his sore head, (which had a bandage tightly wrapped around it, he noticed.)  
  
Josh groaned, his voice gravelly. "Why am I. . ." Josh's eyes widened, and he tried to sit up, his mom quickly pushing him back down. "Tyler! Tyler? Where is he, I-I, I need to see him. I wanna see him." He struggled against her grip, gasping when he got a dizzy spell.  
  
"Honey, Tyler is waiting outside, shhshhh, lie back down sweetheart. You're gonna hurt yourself."   
  
Josh let his head fall back into the pillows, sniffling. "This is my fault."  
  
Josh's mom looked down at her lap, continuing to use her hands to brush through his curly black hair. "No, honey. You didn't know, I didn't know. We never could have known. " She stood, making her way over to the door. "All these years we thought he was gone, but he's back to you, Josh, take it as a sign. I'll go call for Tyler." The door clicked, signalling he was alone again.  
  
But the loneliness didn't last long, because he soon felt a tiny hand wrap around his.  
  
"Hi baby." Tyler mumbled, rubbing across his knuckles.  
  
Josh turned to look at him, grunting in slight pain. "That's a new one."   
  
"Huh?" Tyler asked, slightly confused as he took a seat in the chair Mrs. Dun was previously sitting in.  
  
"You called me baby." Josh grinned softly, only smiling wider when he heard Tyler giggle.   
  
"Guess I just wanted to butter you up a bit." Tyler leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Josh's lips, nipping softly and making Josh chase his lips when he started to pull away. "Jeez, Joshie, someone missed me."  
  
Josh went quiet, laying back against the bed and studying the cracks in the ceiling. It took a while for him to muster up the courage to speak again. "I thought you were dead."  
  
Tyler matched his silence, pulling back to nervously bite on his nails. "My mom and dad died. I hopped out the second story window, so when they didn't find my body, everyone assumed I burned to a crisp." Tyler forced a laugh. "Kind of stupid of me, isn't it?"  
  
"Well yeah?" Josh winced, shifting to look at Tyler again, placing a cold hand on the side of his neck. "You could've come live with us. My mom loved you enough, she probably would've adopted you."  
  
Tyler giggled again, but there was still a deep frown on his soft features.. "It'd be kind of weird now, wouldn't it?"  
  
"Ew, yeah, you're right." Josh laughed with him, only to be cut short when a sharp pain pulsed through his head. "Fuck."  
  
Tyler panicked slightly, pupils blowing wide. "Are you okay? You need me to call the nurse?"  
  
"No, no baby boy, I'm fine." Josh reassured, scooting to the farther end of the bed and patting the spot next to him. "C'mere, I'm cold."  
  
". . .Are you sure?" The taller male bit his lip, sliding under the covers. He made sure to strategically dodge the IV cords and heart monitor cords, pressing into his side.   
  
"Mhm." Josh buries his face in Tyler's hair, inhaling the sweet scent of his conditioner. He felt like he could stay here forever, breathing in the smell Tyler carried of honey, fresh linen, and caramel. He reminded Josh of staying in on Christmas morning watching silly movies in pajamas. Conveniently, he loved Christmas as much as he loved Tyler.  
  
He found his home in the dip between Tyler's shoulder blades and the adam's apple bobbing in his throat. From the top of his head to the soles of his feet Tyler was a decadent masterpiece, a mystery and an open book all in one. You never knew what you were going to receive from him. Tyler was the kind of person you'd still wrap up in your arms and tell them it was going to be okay right after they chucked a lamp at your face and told you they hate your guts. Fucking beautiful.  
  
"God, I love you." Josh mumbled without thinking, feeling a deep surge in the pit of his stomach when he remembered the aftermath of saying that word before.  
  
"I love you too, JJ, so much, baby." Tyler smirked, cupping his cheeks.  



End file.
